Q. Do you know why God created man..........??

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A. Because she wanted to have a good laugh :-)

I don't think I like God very much

O.K. Julie
Q. Do you know why he created man first..........??

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A. Because he didn't want any advice
scarface

That's quite cute! LOL

Touché!

J

To this gender war of jokes I add this:

Is A Computer Masculine or Femine?

A language teacher was explaining to her class that in French, nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine.
For example, "House" in French, is feminine-"la maison"
"Pencil" in French, is masculine-"le crayon"

One puzzled student asked, "What gender is a computer?" The
teacher did not know, and the word was not in her French
dictionary. So for fun she split the class into two groups
appropriately enough, by gender,and asked them to decide whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun.

Both groups were required to give four reasons for their
recommendation.

The men's group decided that computer should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computer"), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is
incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for
possible later review; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself
spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine ('le computer") because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had
waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

:-)

j

heh. that's a good one.

Adding more fuel to the fire. heh heh

Rules: The Male Perspective

Finally, the guys side of the story. I must admit, it's pretty good.

We always hear "the rules" from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules! Please note ... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!



1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. "Crying" is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

heh. that's a good one.

OMG! bull, baby...... LOL ..... you need to chill.........

Okay..... ummmmmmmm... I won't mention any colors...... I won't ask any of you to go shopping.......... ahhhhhhhh, every Sunday I'll be "out of the house," but only after I have prepared trays of snacks and goodies and set them in the den...... no problemo on the toilet seat, I hear you loud and clear.......

But just once..... just one time.... if it's possible....... notice my hair............ and comment honestly about how much you enjoy it.....? :-)

j

1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

ha! i love that one.

and umm, you do have nice hair, Julie. and those glasses are cute.

screwtape.....

Thank you, sir........ :-) .... that made my day.

j

Thank you, sir........ :-) .... that made my day.

that's why i'm here.

     1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.

ha! i love that one.

and umm, you do have nice hair, Julie. and those glasses are cute.

And I like your shoes.

Devedander,

You, sir, have a very good brain :-) ty much.

j

You look nice today. ^_^

Thank you, Dr. Grape...... I appreciate the compliment.

j

Q. Do you know why God created man..........??

... or you could take the line that it took him two tries to get it right...

...stroll around an all-men's dorm at a university and I tend to believe it...